Routine

I love routine, schedules, knowing what to expect and my children do well when all is as usual and running according to a predictable routine. As we prepare to move, again, we are at a point of transition where attempting to cling to our routine has become futile. I suppose it's nice that this closely coincides with the end of the school year, when summer is beckoning and threatening the establishment anyhow. We are split between two homes- the current where laundry and other necessities loom and require my attention constantly -and the near future where my husband is most of the time, and play and preparation and anticipation and time as a family have already moved in. We are riding out this school year doing the bare minimum of the provided materials. My focus is completely on getting the barn ready and then getting moved and (hopefully) settled. The materials and curriculum for fall sit in boxes. I long to have a place to spread all of it out and muse over it and eventually plan and prepare and chart my own course for my dear kindergartener and second grader. I hope to be settled and have a place to do just that by mid summer. And although I don't actually believe in stopping learning for arbitrary breaks, this summer, I will attempt no "schooling" til September. I must focus first on the barn, the move, and making it through the remainder of this school year; and only after we are settled in the barn with lots of shelves will I next focus on charting the course; and finally in September, we will embark. I drive myself crazy trying to jump ahead while living out of boxes, it is a short drive with our regular routine completely out the window. I write this to tell myself it is all okay; Planning can wait til August, routines get messed with when one moves or summer invades, and it's all okay! Pressure off! I want my eyes on the prize of fall. In fall we will establish new routines, set lofty goals, have a fresh beginning with new resolutions. We will be settled and have the time and space to tackle these. We will not only be back on track, but be on new and surer tracks. We will thrive. 

--- and here are some encouraging statistics I saw this week that I want to save for a rainy, need encouragement kind of day--- http://www.collegeathome.com/homeschool-domination/. (Not so fond of tile/subtitle, but the numbers are so good and echo true in my experience working with a vast array of homeschoolers.)

Life in the Barn was Very Good

Life in the barn was very good- night and day, winter and summer, spring and fall, dull days and bright days. (E.B. White)

I found inspiration in the final pages of Charlotte's Web as we read it again this week. The passage continues . . . . It was the best place to be, thought Wilbur, this warm delicious cellar, with garrulous geese, the changing seasons, the heat of the sun, the passage of swallows, the nearness of rats, the sameness of sheep, the love of spiders, the smell of manure, and the glory of everything.

The first sentence made it onto the old fence board and sits in my city house for now to direct and color my perspective as we embark on this huge undertaking. I look forward to the day I can find the perfect spot for it in the barn. The passage makes me remember that the glory of life is in the ordinary, the day in and day out; that my attitude and perspective will determine what life in the tiny barn will be. And this morning Tom Petty reminded me, "there aint no easy way out." The barn maybe tiny and I may have to fight not to shut down at the thought of moving twice in a year, but yet, there is something special about a tiny barn filled with memories; about an acre with old oaks and boulders, about climbing children, and perhaps garrulous ducks and chattering chickens and wagging tails and wild doves.

It is also timely that there is currently somewhat of a small living spaces trend. At least in thought, people are quickened by the idea of boiling it all down to the essentials, bucking against materialism, only having and needing to clean and care for that which is truly loved or needed, being efficient and cost effective. I've been reading these blogs and googling the endless images of brilliant solutions for small living spaces. I want to only have those things I need or love. I want to be organized and focus on relationships and our fabulous outside space. I want to embrace the cozy, secure, intimate atmosphere, and the charm and natural character that the barn so easily fosters. But none of this comes naturally to my actual physical skills. And while an acre of trees and animals and nature is very well-suited to homeschooling, tripe-digit inside square footage does not mesh with my triple-digit book collection (that I do love). Yesterday the final line of advice on a blog I read was, "See it as an exciting challenge and not as an impending nightmare. It is what it is!"

It is a challenge. It is impending. "There is no easy way out;" isn't this true for everyone in one area or another at one time or another throughout life for anything that's actually of value? I will not go through life looking for the easy . . . . that's certainly not the thought pushing me towards homeschooling! I want the best. The barn property has become a family project and is hard work. The last few days I have loved watching my kids work hard and especially watching my oldest working alongside his dad. He is working hard, coming home exhausted, learning so much, and finding joy in seeing the progress. My natural self is overwhelmed and wants to dread. I have to make a concerted effort to focus my perspective rightly and meet this challenge with excitement. I thank God for technology and the motivation in Instagram-ing to record and easily see the fruits of the labor, for encouragement in the words of E.B. White read just when I needed to hear them, for Tom Petty showing up on my Pandora this morning, and for the numerous people who have chosen this path on purpose and shared advice and photos all over the Internet. I will choose to TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD.

Libraries & Tooth Fairies

My kids are playing library. They have to whisper and they've been playing happily for about the last half hour. They thought of this on their own but I'll definitely be reminding them of this fabulous activity in the future.

At times I get a glimpse of how my 5-year-old's thinking really is more advanced than my 3-year-old's. While playing library, he kept asking her when the book was due. And she kept repeating, "it doesn't DO anything unless you read it. It's just a book." He kept asking. She kept answering, each time emphasizing different words and so frustrated that he just didn't get it. They make me smile. They're playing happily and quietly; they're funny, and even the baby gets to play (sit in the room and get handed baby books to chew on).

Another noteworthy thing happened today, my son lost his first tooth! I wasn't expecting this yet. I hadn't thought through the whole tooth fairy thing. Trying to be purposeful, I'd at least like to think it through before automatically doing it. Input or variations on the whole tooth fairy thing are welcome.  :)

A+

The last two nights my four-year-old has taken a flashlight and books to bed with him, read at bedtime and then tucked them away into special spots "just in case he wakes up during the night or too early in the morning." This morning he woke up, gestured his little sis into his bed, and read to her. (No, he's not technically reading for those wondering but that is a mere technicality.)

In my book, that's an A+ for pre-school this year. (Not that I "did" preschool and if I had, I wouldn't be assigning it a letter grade.) I've been pregnant, having a baby, and recovering from a c-section. Lately, this boy has watched too much TV and very little in the realm of education has been done the way I would ideally do it. Yet, flashlight and books in bed - nothing could be a greater encouragement or valid measure of success to me that his education is on the right track. If this habit will stick and he's still doing this at 18, I will consider the whole deal an A+.

"You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing.

"What? Is it nothing to be happy?

"Nothing to skip, play and run around all day long?

"Never in his life will he be so busy again."
--Rousseau

I started my blogging journey with a great deal of tension inside of me . . . . as evident in many of my previous posts. Tension between my untested beliefs/ideals/hopes/etc and actually, personally, homeschooling and facing the pressures and expectations of both the outside world and my own years in the educational system and then the realization that finding some way to succumb to some normal route of schooling would be easier in every imaginable way - from actual hard work to time and space management in a little home to dealing with all the pressures.

I think the tension's gone! Not that it won't return or be an ongoing part of my journey, but the initial roadblock is gone. I am relaxed in that part of my brain and questioning whether or not it is laziness and apathy but am pretty confident that it is not. I embrace Rousseau's words above. I full-heartedly believe that nothing is to be lost by not intentionally striving after academic skills right now. I believe everything is to be gained by embracing play, fresh air, good books, God, and learning the content of the child's world that is naturally set before him each day (for now, not forever).

This article fits nicely with what I've always believed and now am ready to do without worrying.

This quote gives simplicity and focus to my world of academic learning:

What we need to improve education is not more curriculum, but better education, and that comes from classics and mentors. With young children you do two things: read them the classics—things at their level like Black Beauty, Charlotte’s Web, the Little House on the Prairie series, fables and rhymes—then talk about it with them, teach them lessons.~A Thomas Jefferson Education p. 49

One Day At A Time

When I started blogging I was consumed by trying to figure out every detail of my son's kindergarten education. I think it hit me hard and unexpectedly that it's advent was a year away and, for all my philosophical ideas and past studies, I had no solid plan of action.

For the past couple of months pregnancy, holidays, and other pieces of life have kept me occupied and taken my immediate attention off of educational study and planning. And you know what - learning has still been happening at least as much and as well as it was before - it seems to happen so naturally when allowed. I sigh - partially a sigh of relief and partially of giving up - and realize that come Fall, I most likely will not have a perfect plan and everything will be fine. I don't even know that there is one perfect plan. In all of my formal education, including or especially, the pursuit of my MA in Education, the biggest thing I learned was that no great expert or secret exists on the topic. I don't know that I was really setting out to find the perfect plan or if that was just my way of making sure I did my very best and didn't go about homeschooling lazily. I believe I need to know my kids and really pay attention to their learning and what motivates them; know what they understand and what they don't and refuse to just go through the motions on any level; do the hard work to think things through and do my best to model reading, thinking, and love of learning; and be purposeful in how their time is spent.

I like the writings and principles of Charlotte Mason, John Tayor Gatto, Oliver De Mille, and a motley pile of bits and pieces from many others. I don't need to settle on one philosophy and stick to it 100 percent; no one is 100 percent perfect for 100 percent of children. I've picked up the first few McGuffey's Readers, not because I determined that this was the absolute best tool for the job, but because I found them at an estate sale for two or three dollars and I know they are one of the many quality tools out there. They will not be the sole way my son learns language arts but they'll help. Reading and writing materials abound in this house and he seems to be picking so much up on his own because it's there and I try to cultivate his interest in it. Oh ya . . . . plus, I don't really even think formal instruction is necessary for a few years yet. I have a Singapore math text but haven't done anything with it yet. I don't know if or what charter we'll go through to homeschool and whether or not a day at school will be included. I am feeling much more at peace about all of it. One day at a time.

Exactly What I Needed

Since becoming a blogger (albeit a half-hearted and infrequent one lately), I've also become a follower of blogs. Reading other blogs has opened up a new world to me. There are so many mothers out in this virtual world that I share many things in common with and ones that have gone ahead of me in pursuing very purposeful parenting and homeschooling. Not that such amazing women do not exist in my immediate physical world, but the Internet supplies a vast supply of Godly women who are writing about their journeys and often providing the encouragement I need in a given situation.

Today I read THIS blog and it was exactly what I needed today! (Honestly, I probably need this post a few times a week.) It is so easy to get sucked into the stresses of life and annoyances of my little ones. It takes so much effort to be thankful and purposeful. I have been tired and emotional; financial and other stresses have been nagging at me constantly. I have felt completely incompetent in providing decent structure, love, patience, and guidance to my little ones throughout recent days. I am grateful for Jessica Bowman's post today and the reminder I needed. This morning L and L were having a squabble and the littler L started crying from the other room like something really horrible had happened to her. I rush in there, expecting that bigger L had perpetrated something terrible. It took littler L quite some time to say what had happened because she was crying so hard she could barely get the words out. Finally, she gets it all out, "he called me a LITTLE GIRL." She was so hurt and angry and all I could do was laugh. I needed the comic relief and I was so thankful he hadn't done anything terrible. I love how when I'm discouraged and stressed and only focused on problems, they bring me laughter and God tries to remind me that they are what's important and should be my focus; let the other things be the annoyances that I try to ignore and those things will be ok. My kids need to be the focus, ignored like annoyances (although they can annoy), they will not be ok. Ultimately, they bring joy and fullness to life that I cannot even imagine without them.