Exactly What I Needed

Since becoming a blogger (albeit a half-hearted and infrequent one lately), I've also become a follower of blogs. Reading other blogs has opened up a new world to me. There are so many mothers out in this virtual world that I share many things in common with and ones that have gone ahead of me in pursuing very purposeful parenting and homeschooling. Not that such amazing women do not exist in my immediate physical world, but the Internet supplies a vast supply of Godly women who are writing about their journeys and often providing the encouragement I need in a given situation.

Today I read THIS blog and it was exactly what I needed today! (Honestly, I probably need this post a few times a week.) It is so easy to get sucked into the stresses of life and annoyances of my little ones. It takes so much effort to be thankful and purposeful. I have been tired and emotional; financial and other stresses have been nagging at me constantly. I have felt completely incompetent in providing decent structure, love, patience, and guidance to my little ones throughout recent days. I am grateful for Jessica Bowman's post today and the reminder I needed. This morning L and L were having a squabble and the littler L started crying from the other room like something really horrible had happened to her. I rush in there, expecting that bigger L had perpetrated something terrible. It took littler L quite some time to say what had happened because she was crying so hard she could barely get the words out. Finally, she gets it all out, "he called me a LITTLE GIRL." She was so hurt and angry and all I could do was laugh. I needed the comic relief and I was so thankful he hadn't done anything terrible. I love how when I'm discouraged and stressed and only focused on problems, they bring me laughter and God tries to remind me that they are what's important and should be my focus; let the other things be the annoyances that I try to ignore and those things will be ok. My kids need to be the focus, ignored like annoyances (although they can annoy), they will not be ok. Ultimately, they bring joy and fullness to life that I cannot even imagine without them.

Saint Nicholas

As a mom of two young children trying to impart a basic understanding of Christmas and foster a love for Christ in the midst of all that this month ushers into our home, and even more so the craziness outside our home, I really appreciate this guy.

Saint Nicholas was Christ-loving, God-fearing amazing man who put feet to the words of Christ and lived a life worthy of our study and respect. He modeled radical and uncommon compassion, faith, and generosity. He was born in the third century to wealthy parents in a Greek village. Both parents died while Nicholas was young. He inherited wealth and used it to bless people, usually secretly. Incredible stories are told of him throwing money through windows or leaving it at doors at night. Miracles are attributed to his prayers. He was dedicated to serving God and loving people. He is noted for his generosity to the needy and love of children. He was a Bishop. He was imprisoned for his faith. He attended the Council of Nicea in 325. He walked the talk. He died on December 6, 343, and hence December 6th became the feast day for this saint; a day to celebrate all that he stood for and honor an incredible life. Saint Nicholas' feast day became a day of gift giving and secret giving because this is what he did.

Studying the life of Saint Nicholas with my children brings a Christian perspective and historical reality to bear upon all the red-suited, white-bearded images we see this time of year. Discussing his love for Christ and subsequent compassion for people, helps to center the season once again on Jesus and supplies a role model for focusing on the giving rather than the getting of gifts . . . . Who can we surprise and make really happy? . . . . What do they really need that we have?

The ultimate gift ever given was God's Son. At Christmas we celebrate that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, that God broke into human history to save us from ourselves and to give us Himself - life and light and hope. Saint Nicholas is remembered across the centuries because he took hold of what God had given him and gave it away. As we give this season I hope to help my children see the joy they can bring to others and in the process pray that it will develop into a genuine sharing of God's love.

St. Nicholas Center - my source, more info, activities & ideas, the development of Santa Claus, & more

Learning Snapshots

Letters: Letter posters. Happy Birthday banner with letters by Luke & Liv. Luke started printing Liv's name totally on his own & on his own initiative.

Fun & shapes & basic engineering with play doh


Thanksgiving: meaning, history, art

Exploring measurement & comparing sizes

Lots with dinosaurs this month

Reading!

Measurement with sweet rewards

Library story time & people in our community

A few learning activities from the past month that were easy to snap a shot of & record.

Barely Blogging

The last three weeks have seen sick kids, family vacation, Thanksgiving holiday, husband home a lot, and evenings spent either away or filled with other activities or with husband or as an exhausted pregnant mom going to bed early. And that is why I haven't even thought much about my blog, none the less actually blogged. And tonight's time here is very brief. First, to post this excuse and second, to mention that I'm about to update my "good reads" links - adding two articles I've come across recently. Both relate to my 10/11/11 post and my thoughts on play and early academics. Both do a good job of pinning school starting age more on economics and other needs than what's best for the brain of an individual child. . . . . very interesting reads!

In "good reads" links, see "What Can Slow Schools Teach Us" & "The Case Against Pre-School" (It was the second little short article on this page that first caught my attention; the top article is commentary on it.)

Soon I will share some pictures on November learning activities. My research and pondering time on what to do with my kids' education has been very little but there has been some discussion time on options and I did order a math book (Singapore Earlybird) to start working on with my soon-to-be-kindergartener! I'm anxious to get back to my old notes and contemplating educational philosophies and my approach for next year but honestly don't know how much serious research will happen in the near future with holidays and then baby on the horizon!

Good Day :)

Here's to a GREAT day at the end of a tough week. Today's the kind of day that makes me want to be home with my kids all the time, feel like a successful mom, and ready to dive into homeschooling. The kids are kind, well-mannered, and working and playing together wonderfully. They are using their time wisely and learning like crazy totally on their own initiative. They've measured and compared sizes of toy dinosaurs, spent time with books, written and drawn, played school and taught each other things in the most adorable ways, addressed envelopes, and asked me meaningful questions and to teach them things. I have watched and been ready with materials or encouragement, read a few books, and answered questions! Love it! I need days like this to keep me going. I am excited for our future learning together.

It helps me too, to remember that when I was a teacher in a classroom, there were good days and bad. In any pursuit in life, some days are more encouraging than others. It's ultimately about staying the course because we believe it's the right path and not giving up, nor just staying, because of experiences and feelings, good or bad; because in anything there will be both.

I Want A Perfect Option

I blame it at least partially on the time change, but it has been the kind of week where I think about sending my kids off to school A LOT.

I started my morning figuring out how many miles I'd be driving to the two Christian schools on my horizon. Both are 2 or 3 days at school and 2 or 3 days independent study at home options. School A is 11 miles from my house and 3 days per week: 44 miles/day, 132/week, 110/week if I didn't drive back home during school hours one day. School B is 21 miles from my house but only 2 days per week: 84 miles/day, 168/week, or 126/week. Keep in mind, this is with 2 younger siblings riding those round trips in the car and gas money on top of tuition. The tuition is very reasonable primarily because these are not full time schools, but still the costs add up and when I think of having multiple students in school not too far in the future, the costs really multiply! These are both schools I have a lot of respect for and seriously consider during weeks such as this. The biggest negative, for me, after the driving and money, is that the days at home are not really homeschooling. I love education! I want to be the one educating my children. I want to make curriculum choices! I want control! I'm excited about the possibilities. I just don't necessarily want my children 24/7 and I want them to have some other educational experiences . . . . so, not to re-do my "What I Want" post . . . . the fact that I'd like them to get some extra-curricular classes in a somewhat regular school setting once or twice a week is nothing new.

Later in the day I started googling local charter schools. Oh ya, that was after I searched for Christian schools in my town for the 29th time hoping I had missed something. I used to work for a homeschooling charter school and I know they are all different and they can have a lot to offer a parent like me. The school I worked for would be the perfect option if I lived in Temecula and I even looked at the possibility of commuting for some classes, but it looks like it would have to be twice a week and that is a lot! So, other charters that appear to offer homeschooling . . . . meaning parent-choice and freedom not just a lot of prescribed things to complete at home . . . . I say appear because, granted, I'm just looking at websites here; I'm in the very preliminary stages of a half-hearted search . . . . possible next step would be phone calls and tours . . . . Charter A with once a week classes about 20 miles from my house and Charter B with once a week classes 46 miles from my house. Both are strong possibilities right now. Classes once a week, if I stayed in that area that one day, would be 40 miles/week or 92 miles/week respectively. Charter B actually really excites me. Why can't it be closer to home?! I definitely need to do more research but my mind won't stop contemplating how I could manage an hour one way drive with a toddler and baby and then spend one day a week in a far-off city doing parks and whatever else I can think up . . . . hmmm. It is a good location for meeting family for lunch and such. Would I be able to do it? I probably wouldn't cook big dinners those nights. The school offers performing arts and other programs and I'm sure it would turn into more than once a week as my son got involved, but hopefully this wouldn't be a big issue until later in elementary school when the other two could handle the drive better and be in school some of the time too. For the drive I'm imagining audio books, learning songs, discussions, lots of good time at least for kids over about three . . . . that would be in the future. And as my husband pointed out, friends would be made that lived far away. There are definite cons. I don't know where my answer lies.

Is the fact that there is no perfect option God's way of forcing me back to 100% homeschooling? Although, 100% homeschooling in my eyes should include outside activities or classes in one form or another, so I think I'm still there. I had more passion for homeschooling before the reality of the hard work and craziness came about and now many days I'm ready to abandon ship but know I shouldn't leave what I think I'm supposed to do out of fear. Yet, I'm not 100% sure that it is what I'm supposed to do, so I look at schools and possibilities. I find nothing great. I go back to 100% homeschooling but look for the best way to get those outside activities and classes and find nothing perfect. Here I am. I pray for God's plan for my kids' education and for help with my daily use of time, need for inspiration and direction, my patience, and my willingness to work hard.

• Greater San Diego Academy

• The Classical Academy (& see link from page to blog/FB)
  

• Reviews

Core Phase

A Thomas Jefferson Education is a book that grabbed my attention and has significantly impacted my ideas about education. I have since read other books by the same author (DeMille) and attended several related seminars. The educational philosophies put forth by the Thomas Jefferson Education (TJ Ed) model deal more with the how and why questions of education and not directly with the what or specific content questions. I think it is easy to get too focused on the whats and neglect the weighty aspects of the hows and whys.

TJ Ed divides childhood into various phases, the first being Core Phase. Phases are not strictly related to physical age but Core is generally early childhood through age six or so. By age six a person's basic framework about life is formed - ideas about good/bad, right/wrong, true/false. TJ Ed says these core issues should be the focus of learning during early childhood and are the foundation for all else.

The acquisition of "scholarly" skills is not as important as these lessons during this phase. Ample research supports the position that later readers are life-long readers . . . . A child who plays at and practices learning through the Core Phase will approach skills acquisition at the self-appropriate time and pace with relish and self-confidence as her aptitude increases and the meaning of the tasks gains context through her experiences.

The culture and values of the family are learned through work and play together, with a parent or as a family. Good/bad, right/wrong, true/false are discussed at every real opportunity or example found in literature. Life, based upon family belief system, is lived out in the home environment authentically day in and day out. Children are a part of reading, prayers, work, everything. Culture is transmitted to the next generation "when you lie down and when you rise up."

My children are still young and Core Phase should be my current focus and it is definitely something I do not want to fail to be diligent in even as concerns about schedules, academics, and a messy house compete for my attention. As the speaker at one of the seminars I attended cautioned us, "if you haven't taught your kids Core Phase, please don't educate them. Smart evil people are worse than dumb evil people." I want my kids' hearts to be foremost. I want them to do good, love justice, and walk humbly with their God. It is in His light that we see light. This is the core; this is the beginning.

DeMille says "greatness isn't the work of a few geniuses, it is the purpose of each of us." There is great and divine purpose and potential in each life. Academic skills may be useful in carrying out God-given purposes and potentials but academics certainly will never be the cause or zest. Like I noted earlier, DeMille's model addresses the whys of education.

Our purpose is to train thinkers, leaders, entrepreneurs and statesmen - individuals with the character, competence and capacity to do the right thing and do it well in business, government, church, school, family, entertainment, research and other organizations . . . . to perpetuate freedom, to prepare people who know what freedom is, what is required to maintain it, and who exert the will to do what is required. These two goals are accomplished by the third: teaching students how to think.

I want my children to read, write, do math, and in all ways excel academically. I believe they will. I do not see them doing these things in their early years because this is not my first priority nor my starting point. My kindergartener will study letters and numbers but it is my hope that by six(-ish), it will in his his heart that a foundation has been built with the regular school skills of the mind to come alongside later. It is my hope that he will first understand that there is a mission and calling of paramount importance upon his life. That he will know he was created for a purpose and will then be compelled to prepare himself in every way, including academically, to walk out that purpose. In whatever realms my children serve in their adult lives, may they be people who serve and lead with great effort, compassion, vision, selflessness, and character because right now, before they turn six, they get straight concepts about good/bad, true/false, right/wrong.

What happens when a society does not prepare leaders? We get managers and professionals leading in areas they have no training for, such as government, and we get a nation of followers who see no problem with that because they have no experience with anything else. In a nation where the government is supposed to be the servant of the people, it is easy to see that our traditional form of government and its cultural underpinnings will deteriorate beyond repair if the citizen neglects to fit himself for leadership; eventually the result is widespread specialization complemented by arrogance, pride and general ignorance. This was the legacy of Germany in the 1930s - a highly trained but uneducated people easily swayed by Hitler.

Now how I'd love to go right into the root word liber and how liberty and learning are connected and how the voting citizens of Ancient Greece were the liber class because they were educated in the original sense of a liberal arts education and were prepared to be a free people who could govern themselves . . . . This post is already too long I am sure and it is not as cohesive as I wish. The point of my blog is to motivate ME and to make my mind re-examine things and this post may wander but it is all connected in my mind and there is so much more but the time changed this week and my kids wake-up time didn't and I am tired. I need inspiration and direction to put into practice my Core Phase aspirations. This has been a tough week at home with the kids!

Learning Snapshots

Luke has an uncanny affinity for mud! This month when he needed some mud time, I had him write letters in the mud.


He also wrote in sugar. He was very motivated to practice numbers and shapes when he got to lick his finger after each task.
We painted with number stamps and made letter and number magnets out of bottle caps. He experimented with forming words but I really need stronger magnets for the backs of the caps, right now they don't stick well and cause frustration!
Reading, reading, always more reading!

Gymnastics class, Fire house visit, fire safety

Luke's goose! This is impressive for Luke.

Morning God journal

A few learning activities from the past month that were easy to record in snapshot form.

Linden Joshua

Linden Joshua, the newest member of our family, expected in March.

First of all, both Linden and Joshua are trees. This wasn't intentional but it is meaningful. Trees are useful and beautiful. In the Bible trees can be symbolic of people and our church is called "The Grove" (Linden Joshua should fit in fabulously).

Linden: We gave both of our first two children "L" names, not because I wanted their names to both start with "L" but because our two favorite names just happened to both start with the same letter. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my third that I realized he would have to have an "L" name as well or be the odd one out. Linden is my maiden name and therefore we want for him the ingenuity and commitment to family I can see throughout my family. He'll hopefully have my grandpa's sweetness, humility, and humor. Linden trees offer an abundance of benefits and valuable qualities. I like that the leaves of many species are heart-shaped. The tree bears fruit and both fruit and flowers have edible uses. We pray that our Linden will bear much fruit and that it will be to the glory of God and nourish others. The Linden tree fruit has a chocolatey flavor and can be used as both a coffee and chocolate substitute . . . . this is not pertinent to the name discussion, but I really love it! The tree lives a very long time and provides deep shade and protection. Covering and protection are desirable qualities for a man. The wood has great acoustic properties and is popular for making instruments. It is also a top choice for blinds and shutters because it is strong and stable but also lightweight. The flowers contain antioxidants and the medicinal uses of the Linden are profuse, including - treatment of restlessness, migraines, inflammation, colds, cough, fever, infection, high blood pressure, indigestion, and more! All of that to say, this is one valuable and useful tree! We want Linden, the person, to be valuable and useful; and maybe even bring healing, comfort, music, and something yummy to those around him!

Joshua: According to my baby name book, Joshua means "God is my salvation." When looking for a Biblical name to pair with Linden, we were surveying both meaning and how it sounded as the middle name. Joshua feared God and was a great leader. He learned from and served Moses. He, along with Caleb, spied out the promised land and returned with a good report, trusting in God over man. When Moses handed the torch off to Joshua he said, "The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." After the death of Moses, the Lord commissioned Joshua in the first chapter of book of Joshua and told him that he was to lead the people into the promised land, that strength and courage would be paramount, and to know His word and to "be careful to do according to all that it is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have success." The charges, promises, and intimacy seen in Joshua's walk with God are incredible. Later Joshua proves his commitment to God's ways as he leads the people in bringing down the walls of Jericho simply by marching. I want all my children to be teachable and humble, to fear God over man, to have Joshua's level of confidence in God and commitment to His word, and to have success in God's eyes.

Joshua trees have deep and extensive root systems, reaching up to 36 feet from the tree. They must survive desert conditions and yet can live for hundreds of years. The trees were used by Native Americans for weaving and food purposes. Here's to deep roots, heartiness, and long life for our Linden Joshua!

Alternate Blog Titles

Mud, Sweat, and Fears. Mud, Sweat, and Tears. Mud, Sweat, and Beers. Any of these would occasionally be applicable blog titles. The only other title that would really fit more often than not would have been, Home Wasn't Built In A Day.

I am looking to build something great here; not just in my children, but in our family as a whole, our traditions, our home, everything . . . . everything I do revolves around ultimate goals for children, family, home, and self. Some days I expect my house to be perfectly clean and organized, myself to be full of wisdom and patience for each situation, my children to be totally on top of everything I think they should know in thought and behavior. On these days I get discouraged by the fact that we are all far from perfect and my house is a disaster. These tend to be the tears or beers days! Sometimes it can be hard to remember that if I'm building something great, I can't expect it to be built overnight.

God says, "by wisdom a house is built and by understanding it is established." He also says that He will complete the good work he has started in me. I have to see this all as a journey, a work in progress. I am a work in progress, not yet the person, wife, and mother I hope to become. My kids are a work in progress. This home and the traditions, routines, and celebrations we will practice in it is constantly evolving. God is the Author and Perfecter of my faith; He started this whole deal and it is on His shoulders to finish it. Rome was grand and it wasn't built in a day. I have big dreams for my children and for their education. I want depth. I want quality. I need patience. I need to be faithful in the little things day by day and not allow myself to be overwhelmed by the big picture. I cannot expect perfection from myself or my kids.

When I was fresh out of college and interviewing for teaching jobs, I used to say things like, "learning is a journey not a destination," and back it up with the sentiment that if I could inspire in students a love of learning and equip them with the skills needed to pursue it, this would be success. I find it pretty amazing that a principal hired me. I think my idealism inspired her a little. My idea of success was squashed under big textbooks and lists of standards, but now as I consider starting my career as an educator all over again here in my own home, it's finding some room to breathe and maybe even triumph over fears, doubts, and comparisons. If I am to believe that learning is a journey and if I want my kids to be on this journey for a lifetime then I need grace, perspective, diligence, and patience, always patience! They will not suddenly begin learning at age five and I do not want them to stop at 18 or 22. We are all works in progress! A work in progress doesn't look pretty at every stage and while the ugly days frustrate me, the Creator of the work always has the finished product in mind and knows what He is doing.

Apple Seeds

I wasn't planning on writing tonight. We spent the first half of the day running errands, met a friend for lunch, came home, put everything away and did some painting, and from there it became a very lazy day. I was tired. My two-year-old never napped and throughout the day, uncharacteristically, made at least six big potty, paint, or food messes. I planned on making it through the afternoon and then envisioned the little one asleep by six (the lack of nap paying off) and the bigger one out an hour later; I'd have a little time to myself and hit the sack not far behind them. In that hour of time I had alone with my four-year-old great things happened and that is why I'm taking a few moments to write. I feel encouraged and that's worth making a note of and remembering.

We read a couple of books and then started reading some rhymes. One was about a "spike of green," that "no one else had ever seen," a newly sprouted seed. Luke asked if we could plant some seeds. I replied that yes we could, in the spring and explained that fall was not a good time for new seeds. He then had the grand idea that we should plant some in a cup in the house to avoid the cooler weather. I told him he was very smart, yawned and leaned back into the couch, and added that we could do that "sometime soon; I don't have any seeds right now." He was quiet for a minute and then said, "we could cut up an apple and get seeds." I was comfortable, lazy, tired, and had not had any intention of doing anything but how could I resist that? So, we had this wonderful evening learning activity. We cut up the apple, found the seeds, found some good dirt, and then researched growing apple seeds. We found out our seeds won't be ready for dirt for about a month and set them on the window sill to dry. The kid wants to learn and his brain is working well! I'm encouraged!

School hasn't always looked how it looks now in modern day America. The basic structure of public school as we know it had its beginnings right around the time of the Industrial Revolution and details have been changing almost constantly ever since. Generations and generations were educated in various other ways. And although there are many interesting tidbits to be gleaned by looking at education throughout history, age is my focus today.

The ancient Orthodox Jews did not begin formal schooling until age 12 or 13. This age happens to coincide with Piaget's findings (centuries later) on cognitive maturity. My parents started public school at age five, so did I, so do today's kindergartners, but things sure have changed. It wasn't that long ago that kindergarten was not viewed as an academic year. It was much more about play and arts and time with other kids, and I'm pretty sure the "Kindergarten Curriculum Contents" guide was not 81 pages long. In my own life time I have watched the formal teaching of reading, writing, and math skills get pushed down earlier and earlier in the public school classrooms. In my observations and research I do not see that the students are any better off for such an early push (and if anything worse off).

One of my college papers was on Vygotsky and the the importance of play to the overall brain development of a young child. In college education courses I had to research and articulate my thoughts on education. Recently I went out to our shed in hopes of finding some of the papers I wrote back then. I know that many of my beliefs haven't changed over the years and I could really use some of that studied, researched thought I put into those papers right about now. Sadly, the attrition rate, due mostly to rats and goats, has been pretty high in the shed. I couldn't find any of my old papers. I'm really mourning the loss because there was some good stuff there . . . . some jump-through-the-hoops-and-get-the-assignment-done stuff also but there were a couple of papers I remember vividly and very much wanted to re-read. I wish I had the paper in front of me right now, but I know that Vygotsky showed very powerfully how children need play, specifically imaginative play and interaction with people at different stages of development for optimal learning. When young children miss out on play time, their future cognitive development is affected. The things I researched and wrote about in college ring true to what I want for my own children. My goals of where I expected to see these things play out are what have changed. At that time I naively pictured myself spending the better part of my life teaching in a public school classroom. Today, I'm trying to come up with a picture of how it will all look in my own home.

Gatto says that if taught at the right time, basic reading, writing, and arithmetic can be learned in less than 100 hours. A leader at a seminar I attended said, "we expect our six-year-olds to sit in their seats for eight hours and tell our teenagers to go play." Now this is exaggerated, but the point struck me. I will expect my kids to be serious studiers but I do not see starting out that way. We will, and are, starting out with some academics but our kindergarten year will probably look much more like my parents' kindergarten year and much less like that of my son's peers. There is some fear in me here because I have a feeling that if you compare my son to other five, six, and seven-year-olds he will seem to be behind. However, I hope and believe that at age 12, 18, and beyond he will shine.

“I am struck by the fact that the more slowly trees grow at first, the sounder they are at the core, and I think that the same is true of human beings. We do not wish to see children precocious, making great strides in their early years like sprouts, producing a soft and perishable timber, but better if they expand slowly at first, as if contending with difficulties, and so are solidified and perfected. Such trees continue to expand with nearly equal rapidity to extreme old age.”
Henry David Thoreau

Pros & Cons

PROS:
1) I know my kids better than anyone else. I know their strengths, weaknesses, learning styles, and biggest motivators and can meet their needs at a much better ratio than the 25:1 of a classroom.
2) Who they're with - Socialization and learning benefit by mixed age groups. I play a big part in who is an influence or role model.
3) DO what we're studying - hands-on, nature, community, museums, etc.
4) Implement methods, curriculum, philosophies I am excited about and believe will work best for our family. I have been inspired by some pretty amazing educators, writers, and homeschooling parents. I want to attempt to put all of this inspiration into action and not settle for less than what could maybe be the best! (Upcoming posts to address some of these to help me figure out exactly what putting it all into action might look like!)
5) Reading Gatto has turned me off of traditional schools for a variety of reasons. (Pink Floyd now playing in the background, "we don't need no education . . . . all in all you're just another brick in the wall.")
6) Lack of schooling options near our home that excite me, drive and money to do anything else.

CONS:
1) It's already really hard work and I haven't technically even started yet.
2) Kid feels like he's missing out on something. I would love for him to get certain parts of school and as he gets older I will definitely need to cover some subjects through either outside classes or tutoring/mentoring. For the time being and through the primary years, I suppose we'll do outside enrichment classes, but I wish they were all grouped together and included some play time.
3) It is very possible that I will actually go crazy . . . . pretty much with my kids all the time!?!? But how can I not at least try if I think I have a shot at giving them an advantage in their education? And, I do have to do something productive with my time, day in and day out, right? In a lot of ways pouring into my own kids seems like it has the potential to be a lot more rewarding than working some 9-5 job.
4) Very limited space in our house. The vision I have of homeschooling would definitely be easier to carry-out with a room for all the school stuff, spreading out projects, desks, etc, etc . . . . no idea what's going to happen with this one.

There they are, my pros and cons reduced to the simplest possible form in my mind. If you haven't read my "Disclaimer" post, you may want to.

Taking on my children's education is a huge responsibility; the weight of it overwhelms me. I do not doubt that I can give them a decent education. I want to give them the best possible education. I want to do the best I can in my part to help them live up to their God-given potentials and walk-out whatever grand callings and purposes He has for their little lives. If homeschooling is the plan, then with Christ all things are possible and I will be equipped as an educator and they will be equipped for their lives. So I guess it's not really doubts I fear but rather just the hard work!

Disclaimer

If I am to embark on this homeschooling journey, it will require all of my heart, mind, energy, and patience; especially patience. The hard work I foresee is daunting. Therefore, if it is to be, I must be absolutely convinced of the value of it and that it is the absolute best choice for my family. With this as my chief purpose, I will argue the benefits of homeschooling to myself; I will tout its superiority because I must be convinced that it is the best option for my family . . . . not necessarily for yours, and here is my disclaimer . . . . I am seeking to assure myself of this formidable path. I am also hoping to encourage any other parents who are or are considering homeschooling. I suppose I also want to somewhat present my reasoning to relatives and other secondary stakeholders who may think I'm crazy (and may be right). What I am not trying to do is say that homeschooling is what's best for every kid because I don't think it is. God created each child as a unique individual and placed them with the parents they are with purposefully. What's best for my family isn't necessarily what's best for yours; God didn't use cookie cutters.

I have the utmost respect for any parent who has seriously considered their child's education and made a conscious decision about what is best for that child, whatever it may be; as opposed to those parents who follow the path of least resistance with little or no thought and fail to recognize the immense stewardship entrusted to them. Furthermore, all any of us can hope to do is our best with what we've been given.

I have a deeper respect than ever for the homeschooling families I oversaw as an education specialist. It is not an easy thing to set-out to do what you believe is best for your family when it puts you and your kids in a minority. I am overwhelmed and struggling with whether or not this is what I am going to do and I have a professional life behind me and framed fancy pieces of paper on the wall in front of me that say this should be a walk in the park for me. I do not think these qualify me any more than anyone else who is seriously in pursuit of what's best for their kids but I would think (or wish) they'd give me some confidence! Why am I not more qualified? My own education, for the most part, taught me how to jump through hoops. It did not teach me any secret formulas for making schooling work. If anything it made me question trends and decide that there is no one way that works perfectly for everyone. Homeschooling parents who are sincere and willing to put in the hard work are qualified on the basis of knowing their child better than anyone else in the world and God giving that parent responsibility over that education (as He did every parent whether they choose to delegate or tackle it head-on).

So, next comes my list of pros and cons, which is looking something like this - Pros: great lofty hopes, subjective principles, research, beautiful sounding stuff. Cons: time, energy, patience, sanity, adequate space, nuts and bolts. Yikes! Both are important and other options I might consider would require both significant driving and significant money. Somehow this will all work out! Faithful is He who called and He also will bring it to pass!

What I Want

I want to send my kids to a school-type setting 1 or 2 short days a week. I want them to get the playground time with other kids and then maybe an art class and some other enrichment type activity. I want to do the core subjects on my own. This plan saves me from being with them 24/7. It gives them a taste of the good parts of school so they don't feel like they are missing out on something. Luke does feel this a little bit right now and that makes me sad. However, I feel a little bit better when I watch him play "school" with the rabbit. Floppy gets to hop freely around the house sometimes. He grabs her, sticks her in the little carrier cage, slams the door, and then laughs; lets her out, only to catch her again and repeat the same. I said, "I don't think Floppy likes that game" and he said, "Oh, we're just playing school."

Luke goes to a gymnastics class and Sunday school and by next year I'm looking to add another class or two to his life. I want him to have fun, learn from other adults, and work with other kids but I also think the core learning will happen best at home, as well at the tide pools, museums, library, grocery store, etc. I think if a school I was really excited about existed near our home I would consider it and I think it is possible I'll still decide on a school at some point in the future and drive for it.

I have started a list of my homeschooling pros and cons. I started blog-stormiong lots of topics I want to write about- mostly things that will make me re-examine, re-study, and remember the people and philosophies that got me so excited about homeschooling to begin with, details of which I can no longer pull together and articulate like I once could. My little starting point list of pros and cons is not ready to post and I think the reason is, I'm afraid of offending some random reader (not that I think my one-week-old blog has a big following or anything). None the less, there will probably be some sort a disclaimer post preceding my list post.

Attention

Today we painted using fall leaves, went the park and the library, read books, and built things using a given number of legos. Except for a few books read at bedtime, all of this great stuff happened before about one in the afternoon. After which I was exhausted and by three or four I was counting the minutes until bedtime. While trying to make dinner, Luke's questions and comments on everything I was doing were non-stop. I finally said, "Stop! Just relax and be quiet for a minute! My brain is going to explode!" About 10 minutes later, with genuine concern, the poor kid asked if my brain really might explode and if it was better now. Oh man!

One other interesting thing today, I read an article, "Attention Span: Our National Education Crisis" by Oliver DeMille. (http://www.tjed.org/2011/09/attention-span-national-education-crisis/) It's a good read. It talks about the attention span of the general public during the time of Abraham Lincoln and the attention span that dominates our present society. Entertainment, computers, television, and prevailing attitudes about work and fun are all implicated. Attention and focus are definitely traits I want to be a key part in the education of my children. In my disorganized notebook of things I want to remember about education, I found scribbled notes about Socrates, Plato, and Charlotte Mason that relate to ideas in the article I read today.

Socrates said, "wisdom begins in wonder." Plato was student to Socrates and had a school in Athens. The word school comes from Ancient Greek and meant leisure. Plato's school had a garden and the purpose of the garden was to provide a tranquil place for deep thought, pondering, wondering. Real thinking is hard work and it requires time, leisure time. Dictionary.com defines leisure as "time free from the demands of work or duty." Ancient Greeks valued leisure time as purposeful time for valuable activities, such as thinking. Charlotte Mason wrote about the importance of teaching children to really see things, to observe and focus. She said this comes naturally to young children who see a new bug or something else in nature for the first time and are completely engrossed. As adults we are often too quick to rush children along because after all, the new discovery is something commonplace in our minds. We should take advantage of and nurture this intent focus and curiosity. Back to Socrates' quote, this wonder is how true learning happens. Cultivate that attention span; point out details or relationships; let children develop a habit of observation and deep thought. I hope that my children will not be afraid of hard work (mental or physical) because they experience a joy that comes with it. I hope that keen skills of observation grow out of time spent watching a butterfly or walking through a field that will one day benefit all of their studies. And I hope for more book time, less screen time, and attention spans of Lincoln's day. And none of this sounds easy to me! I read it all and love it but it is not the habits my mind has been trained in and I have a big aversion to hard work!

I like to write. Writing helps me organize my own thoughts, reflect, and think critically. There are times I'd rather communicate by pen or type than with my mouth. I have so many thoughts twirling around in my mind about my kids and their education and how my limited time with them is spent that I decided to start blogging to get things down on paper, to be able to look at my own thoughts, to hold myself accountable . . . . the list goes on and on. Part of me doesn't want to write something down until I've figured out the perfect way to convey exactly what's in my head. Hence, I keep staring at my blank blog and not actually adding any content. Well, tonight I decided I'm done with that! My primary purpose here is personal and if I view this like a journal, perhaps I'll be more inclined to just go for it and less limited by perfectionism. Also, if I grab my bag of chocolate chips right now, my motivation to sit here a bit longer and just write may be strengthened!

The whirlwind currently spinning in my head has been stirred by years of idealism suddenly meeting reality. I've taught in public schools, overseen homeschooled students, earned a credential and MA in education, and read countless pages on the topic. I've spent years considering what I wanted for the education of my own kids. I have been philosophical and confident in what I have felt was a divine calling on my life. After years like this, I finally have a four-year-old son and every other child in our world has started school in one form or another. Actual time has caught up with my over-analyzing mind and the last few weeks have been an emotional, overwhelming, pressure-to-conform, doubting, rubber-meets-the-road roller coaster (and no doubt there are pregnancy hormones contributing to my mental storm)! And this is why, now, I start writing! I must organize my thoughts, be purposeful, look at my philosophies and objectives in black and white, think critically and fine tune what we actually are to be doing here, address my honest concerns and doubts, hold myself accountable to whatever is the best for my family and find a foundation to stand on when peer pressure and utter exhaustion would otherwise overtake me.