I like to write. Writing helps me organize my own thoughts, reflect, and think critically. There are times I'd rather communicate by pen or type than with my mouth. I have so many thoughts twirling around in my mind about my kids and their education and how my limited time with them is spent that I decided to start blogging to get things down on paper, to be able to look at my own thoughts, to hold myself accountable . . . . the list goes on and on. Part of me doesn't want to write something down until I've figured out the perfect way to convey exactly what's in my head. Hence, I keep staring at my blank blog and not actually adding any content. Well, tonight I decided I'm done with that! My primary purpose here is personal and if I view this like a journal, perhaps I'll be more inclined to just go for it and less limited by perfectionism. Also, if I grab my bag of chocolate chips right now, my motivation to sit here a bit longer and just write may be strengthened!

The whirlwind currently spinning in my head has been stirred by years of idealism suddenly meeting reality. I've taught in public schools, overseen homeschooled students, earned a credential and MA in education, and read countless pages on the topic. I've spent years considering what I wanted for the education of my own kids. I have been philosophical and confident in what I have felt was a divine calling on my life. After years like this, I finally have a four-year-old son and every other child in our world has started school in one form or another. Actual time has caught up with my over-analyzing mind and the last few weeks have been an emotional, overwhelming, pressure-to-conform, doubting, rubber-meets-the-road roller coaster (and no doubt there are pregnancy hormones contributing to my mental storm)! And this is why, now, I start writing! I must organize my thoughts, be purposeful, look at my philosophies and objectives in black and white, think critically and fine tune what we actually are to be doing here, address my honest concerns and doubts, hold myself accountable to whatever is the best for my family and find a foundation to stand on when peer pressure and utter exhaustion would otherwise overtake me.