. . . . I already am crazy to even consider . . . .

This blog may soon go one of two ways. It may totally take-off, as in I actually start writing again. This would be born out of necessity as I strive and think through things and try to keep somewhat of a record to be referred back to down the road in hopes of doing more schooling-wise for my 3rd kid than what I've done baby book-wise (haven't even bought one :-/). Or, it may become absolutely obsolete, as in I don't even post the occasional pictures.

As my first grader has been studying increasingly real and academic topics, my brain has been exploding with ideas of how I want to teach those topics and methods or activities that would really inspire him. The how I would do it is nagging at my heart and refuses to stay swept under the rug. In theory, I should be able to use the beautiful private school 2 days a week, complete their prescribed lessons at home 3 days, and still be able to do all of my own wonderful, in-depth things those 3 days. In reality, while there may technically be time for both and we do do a little of my stuff, my brain simply is not going to take on that WORK & responsibility unless I do ALL. Plus, if I'm going to take on that work and responsibility, I might as well just do it and help our budget out a bit too. There are cons to this train of thought. I do love the heart of the beautiful private school and the other adults that are speaking into my kids' hearts those 2 days. I love most of their friendships. And, most importantly, I do LOVE dropping them off sometimes & not being with them 27-7 non-stop, and I do think of my own sanity. Those cons are significant and real. Yet, my heart will not let me ignore the tug to really go for this thing. After all, it was my dream over two years ago when I started considering kindergarten for my oldest. I now believe I must return to the dream (albeit, the dream-like quality has faded) and at least give it a shot. If the sanity and exhaustion issues can be negotiated, I do fully believe I can give my children the best possible education. I know, in theory anyways, what I want to do and how to do it and how to inspire these young prodigies to their ultimate potential.

An additional complication is that we are most likely moving into our 500 square foot barn and I am going crazy with my inspirations of turning home into classroom.... Ok, I already am crazy to even consider homeschooling with this move on the horizon. This will (hopefully) be a short-term issue, with a barn-addition also in the near future. Another separate but related issue is that I was looking for a small and preferably telecommute job to help out the budget; I suppose I would still be interested in the PERFECT job but the definition of perfect has been narrowed considerably and I have ceased actively looking, as I am more than aware that the undertaking I am considering would be a full-time job. If I am to take this on, it will not be to settle for mediocrity.

I have just finished re-reading A Thomas Jefferson Education for the umpteenth time and am currently reviewing my Charlotte Mason series, more for inspiration than information.

Come fall, it is likely I will be taking full charge of a kinder and second grader. When my heart and mind are fully at good hard work and engaged and alive, writing seems to be part of the equation; this blog will either be testament to such, or it will disappear. My emotions range from fear and doubt to excitement and a sense of destiny and fulfillment but there's enough of a real conviction mixed in to compel me forward.

Possible Route

Leaning toward an option: local school district offers two half-days of on-site classes per week paired with home study using their curriculum. When I first looked into this I think there were some small differences in how the program was worded that made me close the window without further thought. This week when I re-read the description the wording enticed me and I saw that we are personally acquainted with one of the school's key people. We can get some insight from someone we know regarding the teachers and nuances of the classes.

• The most compelling factor here is the ease of the class time. I have always said that my kid needs some structured group learning time - whether it be one or two days a week in a school setting or multiple specialty classes that I choose and take him to on my own. Charter schools with such offerings are a drive; private schools with such are a drive and a lot of money. With the second option, there's cost and to have much variety, there's a drive. The route here proposed is a five minute drive and free. 
• Is it homescholing? No. It's learning at home. It's designed by someone else, overseen by someone else, and simply carried out by me. However it is ME for the equivalent of four school days a week. It is me deciding what approach and perspective to take, where and how to cover the material, how much we sit down, the daily schedule, etc, etc, etc and maybe more, I don't have all the details yet. I was looking at declaring myself a credentialed tutor and homeschooling 100% independently, that's the opposite end of the spectrum from this route. The lack of drive time, drive money, and class money are pro's here. Other definite pro: he is not one in 20 or 30. It is me focused on him; knowing what motivates him, what his strengths and weaknesses are, and caring very much.
• It is not the ultimate idealistic picture of homeschooling I have held in my mind. It is not everything I REALLY want to do that I really think is the best, but it may be very doable and doable counts for a lot - doable through thick and thin, consistent. Also, maybe I will be able to work in an awful lot of mentors and classics and Charlotte Mason; I bet I will. I probably won't be able to work in a lot of delayed academics and we'll just see how that part goes. If my kid is ready for the academics as they come, that's one thing; if not, it may do more harm than good . . . . and . . . . we can always try another route.
• Furthermore, academic concepts need not equal hours on end in a seat with "seat work." This option will hopefully still allow a five-year-old boy plenty of time to do things that I think are crucial - key words are dirt, play, experimenting, family, sunshine, running, climbing, thinking, problem-solving, imagining . . . .
• After spending months feeling a little crazy over kindergarten plans, I have total peace with this possibility. I still have legwork to do and details to learn; decision is not yet made but I have peace and peace counts for a lot. If we choose this route for kid #1's kinder year, that doesn't mean we are locked into this route forever. There are more school-aged kids and many more years of educating them on the horizon. This may be something we try and move away from or we may love it and be settled for a long time.