1st Day

Today was the first day that I wasn't sure until recently would ever actually happen for my children; the first day of kindergarten at a school. He wore his backpack, took his lunch, picked out a collared "school uniform" shirt even though it is not a uniform school; he looked so grown up. I took a million pictures and then left my baby with a stranger for six hours . . . . six hours that I spent watching the clock and counting down. I consider the day a success and will go to bed a happy mom. Here's my success checklist:
1) He woke up and got himself dressed and ready without any arguing.
2) He cooperated for a million pictures at home and school.
3) We ate breakfast and got out of the house and to school with time to spare.
4) He was ready for my husband and I to leave the classroom long before I was ready to leave.
5) He interacted well with his teacher and other kids.
6) He was appropriately independent for lunch, bathroom, taking care of his backpack, etc.
7) He was happy to see me when I arrived at 2:30 but said the day went fast. He had no favorite part of the day and no bad part. The whole day was "okay." He was so at peace from start to finish. When he woke up this morning I said "Happy first day of kindergarten." He nonchalantly said, "oh ya, thanks."
8) He and his sister do love each other. He wanted to take a picture of her with him so he wouldn't "forget her during the school day." She asked throughout the day, "When can we go get Luke?"

There's my success list. My goals in sending him off two days a week are not primarily academic and those eight things match exactly what I'm wanting in him through this whole school experience. Tomorrow, school day 2, we'll be at home and focusing on some academic goals.  :)

Names

I wrote about Linden's name when my husband and I chose it and since that day I have wanted to put thoughts to paper, or screen, for my first two children.

Luke is our first son. When he was born we had been married for over eight years, hoping for a baby for over three, and decided upon the name Luke for a boy long before he was born. The name means light bearer. Luke will bear light for the Light of the world. We pray that Luke will live and move and have his being in the Light. Jesus said, "While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of Light." Not only is our Luke to be a son of Light but he is to shine for the glory of God that others too may become sons of Light.

The Luke of the Bible sets a stellar example of a light bearer. He authored the book in his name and the book of Acts. He was a physician and close companion to Paul. He carefully recorded details of Jesus' life and the early church. He wrote as a historian, presented facts, and gave straightforward arguments for the Light. He lived for the glory of God and used his skills and intellect to persuade others to do the same.

Our Luke's middle name is Owen. The meaning I looked up when we chose the name was young warrior, hence making Luke a young warrior for the light; a warrior engaged in battle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. The name Owen was also chosen because it is a family name from my husband's family. In that family line the name is representative of generations of men who loved and served God. These were our thoughts when naming Luke Owen. However, in preparing to write this post, I again looked up the name and became aware of yet another layer of meaning. One definition given for Owen is desire born. This is true too. He was the baby we hoped and prayed for, for so long. As a son he is exactly what my heart desires. He is an incredible gift and treasure. I do not doubt that he will grow into a man that is all God desires him to be and walks out the name, Luke Owen.

Our daughter is Liv. I had a name book in which Liv was a separate entry from other similar names and had its own meaning, different from the meanings of Olivia, Livia, or Olive. Liv means life and crown and covering. I love these three words as the definition of my daughter. Each of these three words is powerful on its own. Liv is full of life. She brings life everywhere she goes and to everyone she meets. Jesus is the resurrection and the life; the way, the truth, and the life. He came that we may have life, and have it abundantly. Liv will abide in Him, in ultimate life, and through her God will draw others to the same. A crown signifies honor and royalty. Liv is our princess and will live a life of honor . . . . likely to include being an excellent wife and crown to her husband (Proverbs). Covering or shield: God is a shield about Liv. She will be a covering to children and others who, physically or spiritually, come under her guidance and protection.

Liv's middle name is Anna. The name means gracious and merciful; definitely qualities I want in my daughter. In the Bible Anna was the first woman, other than Mary, to identify Christ. She knew her God, what He had promised, and recognized the Savior even as an infant. She was a prophetess. She worshiped God night and day; her life was devoted to Him, revolved around Him; He was her life.

He is the life. He is the light. He is the author and perfecter of both Luke's and Liv's faith. He created each individually and has good plans for them. I hope and expect to see my children become all that their names suggest. Not only will we do our best to be good stewards over them in raising them and praying for them, but also, words are powerful and therefore, names are powerful. God spoke the world into existence. His Word is living and active. His Word does not return void and accomplishes its purposes. We are created in His image and life and death are in the power of the tongue.


I am so thankful for the three gifts of Luke, Liv, and Linden and I'm thankful to have finally gotten the significance of each name into written word!

Peace Is Worth A Lot

My kindergartener will sit at his own little desk with a room full of other little kindergarteners inside of a school with a supernaturally warm and loving atmosphere, an hour round trip drive away, for 12 hours per week.

I don't love the base curriculum or that I'm not totally choosing and structuring materials and methods around individual interests, strengths, and weaknesses. I don't love that there's driving with two smaller siblings. I don't love that it costs money. The money part is comparatively very little and cheaper than most pay for part-time preschool. I think this negative is more a personal frustration that my MA in Education is hanging on the wall and I could be doing this for free. Some bargain-finding part of me tries to think I should save us the money while some other part of me tries to justify the tens of thousands spent on my papers on the wall. There it is, those are the cons, and none of them matter at all in light of the peace that God gave as we checked out the kindergarten classroom.

On the drive there I tried to discuss options with my son and explain to him that we were just checking this out and getting information. He told me he liked the idea of doing all of school at home. Thirty minutes later he wandered all over the classroom, looked at every desk, found one without a name on it, and with excitement proclaimed, "this can be my desk!" The principal is supportive of my hopes and visions for homeschooling. The provided curriculum can be merely the tip of the iceberg of the learning that goes on during home days. We have treasured friends on campus (kids & adults). It appears that I will get to do a lot of what I want and Luke will get class time in a place where I won't be too worried about his tender little heart. Today I filled out the enrollment form and we bought a backpack and lunch sack.

It is a new journey and there is no doubt in my mind that it is divinely orchestrated. It is significant to me that I really didn't expect this to be our answer at all and now, at the last minute, it is the answer and it is so right and I have such peace. God is good. His plans are good. He is a God of peace. He is abundant in lovingkindness. He is in control of Luke's education, friendships formed and grown, and the plans and purposes for which he was created.

I Have A 5 Year Old

So, it's August and I still don't have a plan nailed down. Here comes kindergarten. It's right around the corner. I almost thought I had the answer but I don't. I vacillate between It's kindergarten; we're learning everyday anyways; I know what I'm doing & don't need to worry about whether or not I'm signed up with anything by the first day of school (or ever) . . . . and . . . . OH NO the first day of school's coming and I haven't picked a school or filled out paperwork and oh no, if he's going to go and he misses the first day it'll throw his whole school experience off and be highly detrimental in every imaginable way.

I made a chart. If my technical abilities are up for it tonight, maybe I'll even try to put it at the bottom of this post. That's what my decision-making has boiled down to, a chart. The heart of the matter is gone. There's technicalities, details, pros, and cons but what happened to my heart for my kid's education? In an effort to mix a little heart into my deliberations, I've decided to go back and read all my old blog posts. I hope to find some peace and motivation in the process. I'm starting as soon as I hit post on this brief update.

Perhaps as the school year approaches, blogging will re-enter my universe. I plan to write about my first two children's names sometime in the very near future. Ever since I wrote about baby's name, I've felt guilty that I haven't put anything down about brother and sister.

	A	B	C	D
drive	Minimal +	Minimal +	Hour round trip -	To separate classes?
$* *Probably w/ all will be some $ spent on some curric & outside classes	free +	Free +	Not free, not bad for 1 though -	free +
people	People & atmosphere? -	People & atmosphere? But probably safer than A -	Christian influence & warm atmosphere +	ME, separate classes, various situation
curriculum	Some freedom	Some freedom	Given curriculum, not thrilled about -	Most work & most freedom +
friends	Local neighborhood +	Local neighborhood +	People we already know, good friends
		Brand new -
Class time per wk	6 hrs	18 hrs	… find out....

Seasonal Blogger

I've always loved to write, and to think, and for some serious subjects the two seem to be connected in my brain. Lately, I've realized I am a seasonal writer - and, perhaps then, a seasonal thinker - or at least pertaining to certain subjects or types of thinking. As anyone can see, my posts have dwindled greatly over the past few months. At first it may appear that this is due to a new baby. However, today as I watered trees and meandered through the yard, all I could think about was getting back outside after the kids fall asleep. These thoughts eventually led to the realization that when it's cold outside my post-kid-bedtime relaxation comes in the form of reading or writing. When spring and summer approach the warmth beckons me to the outdoors. All I want to do is stroll or sit with a drink under the bright summer night sky.

All three kids, baby included, sleep and go to bed fairly early. The addition of the third has not put an end to my evenings as cherished alone or couple or friend time (for the most part).

I have this new found love-hate feeling towards summer. It has always been my favorite; probably due mostly to my 26 years on a traditional school calendar. I love the sun, the heat, the water; those coupled with the only time off for the year . . . . . hmmm, time off thinking - at least in the traditional, hoop-jumping style I'd been accustomed to . . . . account for it being my favorite season. This year, perhaps some of the positive time off association is starting to wane AND I've realized that summer means weeds as well as foxtails in sheets, every piece of laundry, and in the dogs which includes the constant threat of a big vet bill AND summer means lots of time watering AND rattlesnakes which means kids in boots and not as much just go play with no worries. BUT in the warm evening air with sounds of crickets and frogs and lighter darkness, there is love. The thinking is different. The relaxing is different. The blog crosses my mind but can't compete. Perhaps I will be a seasonal blogger.

Possible Route

Leaning toward an option: local school district offers two half-days of on-site classes per week paired with home study using their curriculum. When I first looked into this I think there were some small differences in how the program was worded that made me close the window without further thought. This week when I re-read the description the wording enticed me and I saw that we are personally acquainted with one of the school's key people. We can get some insight from someone we know regarding the teachers and nuances of the classes.

• The most compelling factor here is the ease of the class time. I have always said that my kid needs some structured group learning time - whether it be one or two days a week in a school setting or multiple specialty classes that I choose and take him to on my own. Charter schools with such offerings are a drive; private schools with such are a drive and a lot of money. With the second option, there's cost and to have much variety, there's a drive. The route here proposed is a five minute drive and free. 
• Is it homescholing? No. It's learning at home. It's designed by someone else, overseen by someone else, and simply carried out by me. However it is ME for the equivalent of four school days a week. It is me deciding what approach and perspective to take, where and how to cover the material, how much we sit down, the daily schedule, etc, etc, etc and maybe more, I don't have all the details yet. I was looking at declaring myself a credentialed tutor and homeschooling 100% independently, that's the opposite end of the spectrum from this route. The lack of drive time, drive money, and class money are pro's here. Other definite pro: he is not one in 20 or 30. It is me focused on him; knowing what motivates him, what his strengths and weaknesses are, and caring very much.
• It is not the ultimate idealistic picture of homeschooling I have held in my mind. It is not everything I REALLY want to do that I really think is the best, but it may be very doable and doable counts for a lot - doable through thick and thin, consistent. Also, maybe I will be able to work in an awful lot of mentors and classics and Charlotte Mason; I bet I will. I probably won't be able to work in a lot of delayed academics and we'll just see how that part goes. If my kid is ready for the academics as they come, that's one thing; if not, it may do more harm than good . . . . and . . . . we can always try another route.
• Furthermore, academic concepts need not equal hours on end in a seat with "seat work." This option will hopefully still allow a five-year-old boy plenty of time to do things that I think are crucial - key words are dirt, play, experimenting, family, sunshine, running, climbing, thinking, problem-solving, imagining . . . .
• After spending months feeling a little crazy over kindergarten plans, I have total peace with this possibility. I still have legwork to do and details to learn; decision is not yet made but I have peace and peace counts for a lot. If we choose this route for kid #1's kinder year, that doesn't mean we are locked into this route forever. There are more school-aged kids and many more years of educating them on the horizon. This may be something we try and move away from or we may love it and be settled for a long time.
  

A+

The last two nights my four-year-old has taken a flashlight and books to bed with him, read at bedtime and then tucked them away into special spots "just in case he wakes up during the night or too early in the morning." This morning he woke up, gestured his little sis into his bed, and read to her. (No, he's not technically reading for those wondering but that is a mere technicality.)

In my book, that's an A+ for pre-school this year. (Not that I "did" preschool and if I had, I wouldn't be assigning it a letter grade.) I've been pregnant, having a baby, and recovering from a c-section. Lately, this boy has watched too much TV and very little in the realm of education has been done the way I would ideally do it. Yet, flashlight and books in bed - nothing could be a greater encouragement or valid measure of success to me that his education is on the right track. If this habit will stick and he's still doing this at 18, I will consider the whole deal an A+.